Luckily I've just been accepted as a contestant on the vampire world's newest TV sensation, Top Vampire Chef. Basically, a bunch of us ambitious foodie vamps compete each week to prove who's got bloody culinary game.
My main rival is a pesky know-it-all, Gary McGinnis. -- That Gary thinks he's such a much. He makes these avant-garde things like blood mousse and blood sorbet. -- Puh-leeeze! If we vamps wanted that frou-frou nonsense we'd all be drinking dandelion wine instead.The other contestant is a talented girl who I really like, DreamBloodAngel Larnia (altho' the network, Vampire Television or VTV, tried to make us girls catfight with each other like, all the time. They gave that up after I scary hissed at them).
I should also probably mention that our famous TV show host, Tom Co-Leechy-Yo, is somewhat biased against me ever since I observed that his shiny, dome-like appearance strongly resembles that human hygiene icon, Mr. Clean. Some immortals are so sensitive! Sheesh.Now to the kitchen, where things are really cookin':
Tom Co-Leechy-Yo: "Listen up contestants. This week, your Quickfire Challenge is to create that trickiest of vampire delicacies: a blood pudding. You have 30 minutes. Go!"
Gary: "I'm doing an avant-garde take on the traditional blood pudding, Tom, which we all know is really just a fried blood clot. Instead I'm making a frothy blood mousse, served in a delicate brain membrane. I'm pretty confident about this Quickfire Challenge, Tom."Tom walks over to me with a slightly hostile look on this face and snaps, "And you? What are you making?"
"I'm sous-vide-ing some rich, chunky veins for my blood pudding, Tom," I say smugly. "I just know the nice contrasting textures will totally impress the judges."But what's this? Tom is no longer listening 'cuz he's busy asking DreamBloodAngel out on a date! Heeeey wait a minute, is that even allowed?
The next thing I know, Tom is announcing:"DreamBloodAngel Larnia -- you are Top Vampire Chef!"
The TV studio erupts into utter chaos! Dream screams with delight. The entire audience is whooping and cheering. Gary looks like he's ready to throw frothy blood mousse at both Dream and Tom. But I can't pay any attention anymore 'cuz I get totally distracted by a juicy noob human who's somehow made his way into the audience. Forget all these cooks in the kitchen -- it's dinnertime!
Um, that's it for this week's episode of Top Vampire Chef. This is Tay Wycliffe signing off: "Please pack your knives and go!" xoxo
Tay Wycliffe
http://slexyfashionista.blogspot.com/
STYLING CREDITS
On Tay Wycliffe:Chef's jacket + hat: El'n - Chef Uniform (store closed; creator Eln Alter)
Hair: Truth - Reese - espresso
Socks: Naive - Double Socks Purple
Shorts: Sugarcube - ::SUGARCUBE - pink dot Jean shorts
Sneakers: 2Real - 2REAL_DIAGONAL_COLORABLE
Skin: Glam Affair - -Glam Affair - Sofia skin - ZombiePopcorn Hunt - previously free
Fangs: DCS - DCS Vampire Fangs (creator Dimentox Travanti) - previously free
Eyes: Negaposi - Fairy Eyes - ash
Wooden spoon: Slow Rezz Cafe - SRC Free Spoon - previously free
Tay's blood pudding mixing bowl: Triad Town Chocolate Factory - TRIAD Chocolate/Eat!Eat!!Eat!!! Bowl - previously free
on Gary McGinnis:Chef's jacket + hat: El'n - Chef Uniform (store closed; creator Eln Alter)
Skin: Belleza - -Belleza- Ewan v2 Deep Tan (bald) gift (group join fee) - previously free
Fangs: DCS - DCS Vampire Fangs (creator Dimentox Travanti) - previously free
Hair: Sadistic Hacker - *SH* Magnoria-II Hair(Dark)
Jeans: Aoharu - AOHARU_BT_VintageDenim_Dark
Shoes: SoReal - SOREAL Superstars BLACK/White (SSP003)
Gary's blood pudding mixing bowl: Slow Rezz Cafe - SRC Kitchenware - Brownie Mixing Bowl - previously free
on DreamBloodAngel Larnia:
Chef's jacket + hat: El'n - Chef Uniform (store closed; creator Eln Alter)
Fangs: DCS - DCS Vampire Fangs (creator Dimentox Travanti) - previously free
on Tom Co-Leechy-Yo:
Skin: Belleza- Male gift - previously free
Eyes: Sycophancy - :S: Feb Eyes - Ice - previously free
Shirt + pants: Alphamale - Slate shirt - Tucked out + Formal pants II - Stripesilver - former Make Him Over Hunt 3 gift - previously free
Shoes: Kalnins - Crossyard v1.21 - previously free
Fangs: DCS - DCS Vampire Fangs (creator Dimentox Travanti) - previously free
Poses include those by: With Love and Squalor (Tay alone); Del May (Gary alone); Pretzel Poses (Gary squashing Tom); Everglow (Tay grabbing dinner)
